Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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