it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
