Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
