I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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