Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
