if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
