no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
