Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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