allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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