So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
