i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
