I'm gonna have a badass scar
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
