i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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