I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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