I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
