I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
