Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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