When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
