I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
