i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
