Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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