I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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