Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
