I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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