I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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