The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
