You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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