I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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