so that wasnt chicken after all
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
