At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
