Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is the high leading the old right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize