Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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