she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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