Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
