Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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