This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
how does that bad decision feel?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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