i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
