why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
