It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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