your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
