so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
