I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize