today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Who died my cat blue again?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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