I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
