thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
