I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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