That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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