Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
