Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
