she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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