I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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