whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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