there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
