What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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