is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
