There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
