Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
