So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can feel your judgement through the phone
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
