I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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