Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize