White coat. Heels.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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